Power of Parenting

Amidst xenophobic violence, and renewed demonstrations and activism against oppressive symbols in South Africa. The continued scourge of corruption within pubic services that are meant to protect the well-being of each citizen. The brutal and debilitating gang wars that ravage the Cape Flats. Racial violence in USA. Religious fundamentalism and militancy in Northern Africa and militant Islamic states. Economic challenges globally. Yet, my world comes to a standstill today. Today, none of these matter.

Today, I celebrate the gift and life of my first born. Today, at a baby dedication service at Waterkloof Baptist Church, I give thanks to God for this precious gift. Yet, this is more than dedicating my little one to God, it’s also a dedication of myself and my wife to godly and responsible parenting. A dedication of ourselves to be the most influential and positive role models in her socialisation, her moral and ethical guidance and her general sense of well-being. Whilst you cannot lay the blame for wayward young people or adults at the feet of bad or irresponsible parenting, yet we cannot underestimate the value and importance of parenting in guiding our current and future generation into responsible local and global citizenry. If I fail, she could be part of any of the above evils that ravage our world. Yet, I also know that we have to have the strength for her to live her own life, even if it means a rejection of all that we live for.

I am amazed at how we want to change communities, countries, and the world, yet we are not willing to change our families and parenting. At the end of the day, in order to change a community, you have to change the family because the family is the most basic building block of communities. I realised today, that what I teach and impart to my daughter will eventually have an influence on my community, country and world in measures that I cannot fathom.

Do not underestimate the power and influence of one life. With minimal generational wealth to aid her at this point, being born into a broken and destructive world, having to face an uncertainty regarding her future relationships, career, and things we so often take for granted as adults, she remains precious and important and we as parents remain accountable to her, ourselves, our community, and our God.

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Mia-Cara, Isabella, Me

Dear Blog: A Three Year Reflection of a Lifetime

How time flies … I have only known you for three years now but we have been friends our entire lives. We do not often chat out loud but we always internalise our thoughts, our dreams, our fears. It was a bold and courageous step for us to make this public, to let the world know of us and what makes us who we are. I know we hate being vulnerable and making any public gestures that would draw attention. I also know that we get easily hurt and by going public has opened that door uncomfortably wide. But truth be told, I’m glad we took this step. I would have it no other way. Three years … how time flies.

How we’ve changed during this time. We’re a bit older. Hopefully a bit wiser. We’re a bit more docile and more concerned about the future. Job satisfaction means more to us now than finance, oh who are we kidding, we like the finances too. Family has become more important to us as well, I can’t imagine life without family. We’d be more sane but we’d be the poorer for it. I know we don’t have many friends. I know they are but small group of friends, but whom we value and treasure beyond what words can express. We are grateful for those who have been with us through all our trials, our struggles, our victories, our moments of shame and joys.

What about the love of our life? I cannot see how I survived these many long years without her and I cannot see the future without her. I wish we could speak more about her and let the world know how she has our heart, our admiration, our undying and relentless passion for everything that is perfect and good for her. She has taken our center stage. The perfect witness of our life. We can only wonder why God has given such an amazing person to us, we definitely do not deserve her.

God has been faithful to us. There have many, many times where he seemed so far away, so invisible, so detached from our life but every time I look back at those moments I see him, I hear hear, I experience him. He has been so patient with us, so understanding, so forgiving and so loving. I cannot ask for ¬†another deity who has changed us the way he has. I know we cannot always explain who he is and what he has done, but that’s okay. We know he has been real to us. We know he is real.

We’ve changed jobs, we’ve changed provinces. We’ve loved and lost and sacrificed and accepted and let go and many other things that has tugged at our heart strings.

You’ve been a great companion along this journey.

You’ve been a faithful friend along this journey.

You’ve been a silent confidant along this journey.

You’ve been me along this journey.

You are me.

Happy anniversary.