Dear Blog: A Three Year Reflection of a Lifetime

How time flies … I have only known you for three years now but we have been friends our entire lives. We do not often chat out loud but we always internalise our thoughts, our dreams, our fears. It was a bold and courageous step for us to make this public, to let the world know of us and what makes us who we are. I know we hate being vulnerable and making any public gestures that would draw attention. I also know that we get easily hurt and by going public has opened that door uncomfortably wide. But truth be told, I’m glad we took this step. I would have it no other way. Three years … how time flies.

How we’ve changed during this time. We’re a bit older. Hopefully a bit wiser. We’re a bit more docile and more concerned about the future. Job satisfaction means more to us now than finance, oh who are we kidding, we like the finances too. Family has become more important to us as well, I can’t imagine life without family. We’d be more sane but we’d be the poorer for it. I know we don’t have many friends. I know they are but small group of friends, but whom we value and treasure beyond what words can express. We are grateful for those who have been with us through all our trials, our struggles, our victories, our moments of shame and joys.

What about the love of our life? I cannot see how I survived these many long years without her and I cannot see the future without her. I wish we could speak more about her and let the world know how she has our heart, our admiration, our undying and relentless passion for everything that is perfect and good for her. She has taken our center stage. The perfect witness of our life. We can only wonder why God has given such an amazing person to us, we definitely do not deserve her.

God has been faithful to us. There have many, many times where he seemed so far away, so invisible, so detached from our life but every time I look back at those moments I see him, I hear hear, I experience him. He has been so patient with us, so understanding, so forgiving and so loving. I cannot ask for  another deity who has changed us the way he has. I know we cannot always explain who he is and what he has done, but that’s okay. We know he has been real to us. We know he is real.

We’ve changed jobs, we’ve changed provinces. We’ve loved and lost and sacrificed and accepted and let go and many other things that has tugged at our heart strings.

You’ve been a great companion along this journey.

You’ve been a faithful friend along this journey.

You’ve been a silent confidant along this journey.

You’ve been me along this journey.

You are me.

Happy anniversary.

A happy voice

I was at a 30th wedding anniversary last night with some amazing people. Had some good food and great laughs.

Firstly, when the couple shared a bit about their lives, I couldn’t help but notice the tapestry that has been woven by God even when we are unable to see the bigger picture or understand the process which at times can be extremely painful. Yet it is only with hindsight that when we look at the weaving through time can we understand what God was busy doing.

Secondly, our lives and struggles are unique and it’s no use trying to compare ourselves to anyone because it is yours. So the sooner we get to accepting it the better off we will be. So own it because no one else would be better suited to live it. Besides it was given to us by God even though at times we wish we wouldn’t want it.

Thirdly, if by the time you die and you have five true friends, you are blessed. Friends whose presence does not only offer a safe environment but is a safe environment that allow you to be completely vulnerable and share your deepest pain and fears and joys without fear of judgement and envy. One such person alone is worth gold and i was blessed and privileged with such last night.

My prayer would be that you too May have such blessings that makes life worthwhile.

This is my voice… A happy one đŸ™‚